DELIBERATE NOTES TO SELF

This past Weekend gave me so much to think about and time for it as well.
I got some time away from the norm to look through my own life.
Literally had a meeting with self to understand where I am in life.
I got the opportunity to look through to see what would easily make me unhappy, what would easily give me a hard day emotionally.
I am one to always want to be happy.
I am not saying that circumstances won’t come and sweep away our happiness, but it’s possible to be happy always.
Happiness is a deliberate decision and action.
I took a deeper look and came up with a few notes to self.
Praying that they can help you too if you need.

Every point will be spoken about from a place of allowing to do all things within the boundaries of GOD and HIS Word.
Remembering that all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial.

1. EMBRACE POSITIVE CHANGE, IN YOURSELF AND IN OTHERS

Learn to let go of what you were and what other people were.
You will not remain the same person all your life.
There are many circumstances, relationships and occurrences that will make you look at life differently and make a decision to change your whole outlook.
It’s totally okay to not be the same person you were yesterday.
It’s totally okay for people to not like this “new you.”
Whatever works for you in this life, change yourself for it.
Growth also comes with change.
Remaining the same person through life would sometimes be a place of stagnation.
Go ahead and adapt to situations. Go ahead and through that metamorphosis.

Don’t forget that as you embrace your own, embrace others’ too.
Accept when someone becomes different.
When they become who they want to be, allow them and give them the space and freedom to be, unfortunately even when, according to you, they take a turn to the negative.
Do not be stuck with who they were in the past as much as you may prefer “that them.”
Don’t be selfish to try and make them be what you want.It’s unfair even to them.
Accept the “current them” and deal with the change accordingly.
Either stay with them or leave them peacefully, but don’t try to return them to their default.
It’s a waste of energy and an unnecessary effort sometimes, especially if they don’t want to revert.
Pray for them instead if you feel they need to be better.
But only pray that they become what GOD would want them to be.
You will be surprised what an honest prayer over someone will do for them.

The space around you might change too.
Your workplace, your neighborhood, your environment.
Instead of getting stuck waiting for the default, adapt.
If you need to change to work around it, then again, do what needs to be done.

2. THOSE THAT MATTER WILL STAY

Those that want to matter to you will involve you in what matters their lives and all that entails it.
If they want you in, they will fill you in.
Observe well and see how many times you are the one always divulging information about yourself.
Observe and see how many times anyone will let you in on their important details of life without you asking.
Observe and see how often you need to keep seeking for private information about others.
Know, make peace and stay or make peace and leave, all at your own volition.
People that consider you close will always, I mean always, let you in on obvious important happenings in their lives. You will never need to find out from a third party about milestones that happened to them.
They will think you important enough to even invite you to the space of the events.
Time we stopped wondering what we mean to people.
Actions speak loudly enough and being keen is important as well.
Time we need to spend energy and resources on the things that matter. Wallowing in thoughts of who is by us and who is not is not a part of it. Save yourself sometime.
Those that want to stay will make every effort to without being asked.
Don’t be dramatic about the realisation that people do not consider you in their inner circle. I am pretty sure there are them that think you close but you do not consider them as such. Be graceful about the realisation and understand that everyone cannot fit into that circle.

3. MAKE ROOM FOR YOUR CLOSE PEOPLE

…to make their own decisions and live their lives without you and without you getting offended about their decision to be.
Your closest people will get ahead with their lives and make some decisions and leaps without you.
Train yourself to accept that that’s totally fine.
Allow them to make steps ahead without consultation.
Give people their space.
Sometimes moving on without telling you doesn’t mean you don’t mean the World to them. It basically means it’s their life.
They probably did not feel it needful to fill you in on everything. Perhaps it feels like a bother to you, according to them, to always call you in or they simply do not see it important to let you in.
So let them be and make it normal to not get offended if they don’t involve you.
Learn to be happy for their advancement in life without making them feel guilty for their unannounced leaps.
Acknowledge that there are them that just love their privacy and accord it to them.
We all are different. There are them that will announce their moves and them that will be silent.
Whichever they are, allow them be.

It’s okay to not always be in touch. The best way to keep in touch is to pray for them.
If they are them to want communication on a daily, do it. If not, that’s okay as well.
If you miss them, look for them without feeling heavy.
If they truly are your inner circle, conversation will always flow no matter how long you have stayed without speaking.
If they are true to you, they will eventually let you in when it’s time.
Stop being all over their business. Allow them the space to breathe if or when they need.
Be comfortable living your own life. They will fit in, as well, into your system if you allow them be and accept them as they are.

4. MAKE IT KNOWN WHO YOU ARE

Stop pretending and putting up with a fake façade.
Don’t lie about who you are and where you are at in life. It’s too much work to keep up with a lie. Most times you will forget it and you will need to come up with other stories to cover up. Such exhaustion!
However, the truth is easy to remember, requiring no cover ups.
Also, life is too short to forget who you truly are; to live someone else’s life.
Don’t be embarrassed to show who you are.
Let them that will love who you are love you and them that cannot cope leave.
But don’t suppress your true self to fit in or to please.
Be you unapologetically.
Shine friend!! Let them adapt, but do not adjust your brightness for the comfort of their eyes.
Be different and unique, GOD created you that way anyway.
You don’t need to be like someone else to be great or cool.
You just need be you.
If you feel that you aren’t “there” yet, that’s fine. Allowing yourself to be you now will give you an opportunity for a track record of betterment. Then we can talk about “how far you have come from.”

5. ONLY HANDLE WHAT YOU POSSIBLY CAN THEN REST

Be easy on yourself and give yourself credit for work done. Do not put too much on your plate.
We were created human. None of us is supernatural.
We were created to depend on a Supernatural GOD.
We cannot always fully accomplish what we need to and when that happens, don’t beat yourself up about it.
Organise your time well and when you have, and some things weren’t done in good time, tomorrow is a good day to try again.
Don’t put pressure on yourself over things you cannot do or change.
Allow them to be and work within your means.
Then when you have handled the task, rest before the next assignment.
And even when you haven’t handled it all and you need to rest, rest!!
GOD rested on the seventh day. HE knows your rest is important.
Never feel guilty for taking that break and putting work aside.
And not just physical rest, but also disengage mentally and emotionally.
Allow the rollercoaster to halt for a while.
Allow yourself to change up a few routines and create a plan that works for you and that will help you catch up.

6. DON’T COMPLAIN OVER WHAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE

If you are not willing to do something about it, leave it as is.
Don’t let off energy on anything or anyone by stating how it or they should be if you won’t turn your talk into action.
If you involve yourself and you aren’t a part of the solution, you are more than often a part of the problem.
Walk away if you are not willing to do anything about it.
It takes away so much of your mental energy that will definitely reciprocate to your physical energy degradation.
Save yourself the trouble and pray over what you need to if you feel you really need to do something about anything.

7. LIVE THE MOMENT

Time is moving so fast, especially when you are having a good time.
Let not the worry of life take over an opportunity for a good time.
Milk all the good moments even if they last a second.
Stop thinking about the past and next. Think about that specific time.
Be you in that moment so that you will remember it when you need a good memory; so that you won’t regret not being a part of it, wholly, truly and honestly.
Create the moments. Don’t wait for someone else to do that for you.
You may end up resenting them when they don’t participate in your moments or create them in your favour.
Allow you to enjoy life. Allow yourself to be the happy goofy you without making any apologies.
Let loose and eat life with a big spoon.
Don’t be too rigid.
Always smile and laugh out loud when you can.
Take the “adventure opportunities.” Some offers don’t come back.
Go and have fun. Enjoy without regret, then remember to tell the story.

8. SPEAK UP, BE PEACEFUL AND FORGIVE EASY

Don’t be mute when injustice is happening, to you or to another.
None of us was meant to be a mat for someone else in any way.
If it offends you, acknowledge it and speak about it to them if there is an offender involved.
That is how we create boundaries. Remember, people will treat you according to how you allow them to treat you.
Unfortunately, we humans have a way of taking opportunities for soft grounds.
Stand your ground, stand for your values and principles.
Let people know when they cross a line. Ask for an apology if you feel they need to.
Let them that won’t apologise go, but don’t let them go without letting them know that they offended you.
Leave the drama and chaotic ways of solving issues behind.
Aim to be at peace with everyone even when they have done the worst. It does not erase what they did neither does it justify their actions. It erases the pain you need to feel. Forgive and let go easy.
Be open to other people speaking up as well.
What may not seem like a fault to you may be the worst offence to someone else.
Allow yourself to be okay when people tell you that you offended them.
Do not fear disagreement. It’s in it that you get clarity and communication as well.
Make it as peaceful and as timely as possible. A disagreement does not mean an opening for war. It is okay to not be at the same level of understanding with someone else. That does not mean we fight them to pass a point across or try to make them cross over to our side. We can always find a middle ground to help move forward.
Don’t forget to forgive and accept forgiveness.

9. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY

Not everyone and everything is worth fighting for.
If it won’t matter a few years or even minutes down the line, let it go.
If it doesn’t affect the future, learn to let it go.
Don’t let it take up any part of your time.
Learn that the wrong they do to you is not your fault or because of what you did or didn’t do. They did what they did because they did what they did.
Learn to not align yourself uncomfortably so that people will not do you wrong or to please people.
Let people find the need to be good to you.
And if they don’t, don’t force them to.
Say yes because you mean it. Say no because you don’t want to be or do something.
Make a sacrifice when you can, when you want.
Never hold it against anyone if they never come through for you the way you wanted or expected them to.

10. CONSIDER HIGHLY OF YOURSELF

Not proud. Not a superiority complex.
Just allow yourself to agree to the greatness and beauty that GOD has placed in you, whether you or others see it or not.
Whether you refuse to see it or not.
Whether they try to suppress it or magnify it.
Identify it first.
Allow GOD to activate it for you, that you may achieve the amazing and extraordinary things that HE has intended through you.
You are the Child of The Most High KING. It’s a fact, not a theory spoken of by others.
Embrace the awesome you and never look down on yourself.
Your identity is in a High Seated CHRIST.

11. GUARD YOUR HEART
GOD has given us the responsibility to guard our hearts.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Close your heart to the things that will not benefit you.
If that means cutting off people and events, go ahead.
No one deserves to keep coming back at you for the sake.
If it is not a place of peace, feel free to leave. If you want to make it a place of peace, please go ahead. Just don’t lose your heart while at it.
Ignore the things that are said and done intentionally that would take your peace of mind.
It’s in unrest that the enemy takes advantage.

12. MAKE DECISIONS

Holding back a decision doesn’t keep it from being made.
Postponing a decision might give us a clear mind and a better view, but the decision has to be made eventually.
Make decisions, don’t run away from them.However much you or others do no like them, make them anyway.
It will give you the space to think about other important things.
Always allow The HOLY SPIRIT to guide you in all decisions, however petty and bothersome they may feel.
Life will always bring you situations that lack a straight forwardness in decision making. The HOLY SPIRIT will guide you through the process, if you will allow HIM.

13. LEARN THE SEASONS

Just like the seasons of the year, situations, relationships and events come and go.
One time you are deep in a friendship and the next you are out of it.
Understand the stages of seasons so that you don’t get hang up in an ended season.
Don’t get wishing that things would be different when the seasom is over.
When people change, when circumstances change, seasons will either  begin or end.
When they stay, there will be little headlines of seasons within a “bigger pictured season.”
Embrace their movements.
Waste not thy time hanging around when you should be walking away.
Grieve if you need to, but move on.
Accept that situations in every individual’s life may and will change and that will definitely affect the seasons.
If they leave, don’t allow them to treat you as the person they left you as if or when they come back.
Do them the same favour. If you leave, accept their “current them” if or when they come back.
Remember, GOD and everything that entails GOD are the only constants in your life.
Accept and embrace that first before you embark on anything.

14. AND FINALLY…

“Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”
Proverbs 4:24‭-‬27 NIV

That was what touched me in ways and I thought perhaps someone is on the same trail with me and they will need these notes.
Remember, being a Christian doesn’t mean you have to be closed up and boring.
JESUS came that we may have life and have it in abundance.
There’s a reason GOD created all HE did, for us and our enjoyment.
Remove from your way anything that will keep you from a good life.
Good Life is not only about money, it’s about creating great memories with what you have at the moment.
Yes, it’s possible to have a good time when the World is upside down.

If you are wondering how to be a Born Again Christian, and a fun one at that, with JESUS CHRIST in you and you feel the conviction of The HOLY SPIRIT to Salvation or a rededication of your life to CHRIST, reach out to me or to someone that you know has received Salvation and is walking upright in GOD.

More of GOD’s Grace, Love and Light,
Lydia  Ndwiga