LET GO AND LOVE
Each one of us reading this may have been in a situation where we faced the hardest form of betrayal and rejection, and wondered if we will ever be able to forgive. It must have hurt so deep to be let down by the very people that you held in high esteem and perhaps you set very aggressive boundaries with them. It is understandable because you want to “guard your heart.” But pause… Is it the Biblical way to guard our hearts by cutting off all ties with people and hating them for a lifetime? I know, we have been tasked to be careful with who we let in, but to what extent? Yes, we have been asked to be as cunning as serpents, but in what context?
I was watching a preacher talk about the burning of bridges and they were giving an example of hugging someone holding a knife. The first time you hug them they will cut you because you perhaps had no idea of the danger. But what caught my attention is that they did not go ahead to say to never associate with that person again, but they encouraged the idea of greeting them at arm’s length or even waving from a distance, now that you are aware of the danger they carry with them. I believe that’s what being cunning means. Not to walk in a different path when you meet in the CBD, or giving them the tough eye or washing yourself with disinfectant when they touch you or your items, like we did in Primary School. Is that still a thing?
Before we say anything more and just to set a foundation, let us take a look at what the Bible says about forgiveness.
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as GOD in CHRIST forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32 NKJV
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Matthew 6:12 NKJV
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly FATHER will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your FATHER forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your FATHER in Heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.
Mark 11:25 NKJV
…bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as CHRIST forgave you, so you also must do.
Colossians 3:13 NKJV
The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.
Proverbs 19:11 NKJV
And so many more of them that have nothing to say, “Do unto others what they have done to you and teach them a lesson!” Like we said in our last podcast, GOD is our justice, and we should not seek the punishment of the offender, but instead, let go and love. We shall be held accountable even when we are the offended. It sounds unfair, but GOD has already given us commands that surround every situation we face in our lives. And more so, it’s beyond fairness. I usually say it’s not about it being fair, but it being Godly. And when it’s Godly, GOD’s justice lies in there.
JOSEPH AND FORGIVENESS
Joseph was one man who handled forgiveness like a pro. He is probably one of the men in the Bible that faced the greatest betrayal from his own family. Joseph would have decided to punish and teach the whole family a lesson when there was a famine in their land. He would have easily ignored all the “doubting Thomases” and according to the Society we live, he would have been justified. I mean, it is the very same position of leadership that he was holding that made his family sell him out when he dreamt about it. Yet, it’s the very same position that they wanted to benefit from. Me, I can only imagine what would be going through my head… “You sell me to these men, I go high in rank, I get tempted, I run away and still get falsely accused, I get imprisoned, go high up in the ranks again, I interpret dreams for my friends, my friends get out of prison and forget to mention me for my freedom until when one of them saw it convenient, I interpret a dream again, I get promoted, then now you are here to eat the sweat of my brow? You must be kidding me! I will reveal to you who I am so that my enemies can see GOD setting a table for me before them. I am that testimony in the book of Psalms! Or better yet, let them rot in jail that they may regret doubting my dreams or selling me off for the same dreams that GOD showed me that, have put me in a position to be above them!” Phew! But instead, Joseph chose otherwise, even after going through so much in the land that he was sold to by his own brothers.
Joseph is seen as a foreshadow of CHRIST and in him, so many similarities to what JESUS did for us on the Cross. CHRIST was rejected, betrayed and despised, yet HE still forgave. HE was doubted and seen a bluff, yet HE forgave. HE was stripped, beaten, ashamed and disregarded, yet HE forgave. HE was tempted, put in dangerous circumstances, yet HE kept up with the mission that GOD had sent HIM to do. All the things that happened to HIM, HE treated as a way to the mission, to the glory of GOD, but not a distraction. And yet HE still forgives us when we get off HIS ways, even after HE died a-once-and-for-all death. Oh that when we pray to be like CHRIST, we may fathom what we are asking for.
Now a few lessons from Joseph…
But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for GOD sent me before you to preserve life. For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. And GOD sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the Earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you who sent me here, but GOD; and HE has made me a father to Pharaoh, and Lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.
Genesis 45:5-8 NKJV
We need to understand that whatever we go through is divinely orchestrated by GOD. GOD can use anyone or anything in any way HE sees it fit; for our benefit and for their own, even if it happens through a betrayal story. We also need to appreciate the fact that we are not here for ourselves only. First Joseph, and later, his brothers, not only benefited from a better life, but also from a change of heart, albeit through an unfortunate circumstance. I heard someone once say that GOD never wastes pain and for sure, HE uses every circumstance to carry out HIS divine will.
Joseph also told his brothers not to be grieved or angry with themselves because they had sold him. May we not guilt trip people that have offended us. That we shall allow their hearts to experience the freedom that comes with being forgiven.
Moreover he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.
Genesis 45:15 NKJV
Despite all that Joseph went through as a result of his brothers’ betrayal, he still loved them, overlooked their offense and gave them an opportunity to be with him. Never look at the magnitude of their error. Look at the magnitude of your lesson and your purpose in it all. Sometimes we miss out on an answered prayer or a lesson because we are spending more time paying attention to what was done to us, magnifying the offense and plotting revenge. Joseph identified that GOD, through the betrayal by his closest people, was first, working on his character for a later mission and two, positioning him to work HIS will through him. What an honour.
Now the report of it was heard in Pharaoh’s house, saying, “Joseph’s brothers have come.” So it pleased Pharaoh and his servants well. And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Say to your brothers, ‘Do this: Load your animals and depart; go to the land of Canaan. Bring your father and your households and come to me; I will give you the best of the land of Egypt, and you will eat the fat of the land. Now you are commanded—do this: Take carts out of the land of Egypt for your little ones and your wives; bring your father and come. Also do not be concerned about your goods, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.’ ”
Genesis 45:16-20 NKJV
Even through the offense, GOD showed Joseph favour and Joseph extended it to his family. Joseph would have easily told Pharaoh the whole story and stopped him from favouring his family, but he didn’t. Don’t feel the need to spoil the offenders’ names to the people around you. Don’t even ask your friends to stop talking to or associating with them as a test of their loyalty. Wish them well and do them good, without any ulterior motives and let GOD work out HIS purpose through the unfolding events.
And they told him, saying, “Joseph is still alive, and he is governor over all the land of Egypt.” And Jacob’s heart stood still, because he did not believe them. But when they told him all the words which Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the carts which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father revived. Then Israel said, “ It is enough. Joseph my son is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.”
Genesis 45:26-28; 46:3-4 NKJV
So HE said, “I am GOD, the GOD of your father; do not fear to go down to Egypt, for I will make of you a Great Nation there. I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also surely bring you up again; and Joseph will put his hand on your eyes.”
It is wonderful to see GOD assuring Jacob that Joseph was still alive. Sweet!! HE also assured him of his next move…
Over here wondering what would have happened to this part of the story if Joseph had sought revenge or refused to reveal his identity. Let’s see… Jacob’s family would have died from the famine, Jacob would have died a sad man, the redemption story of the Israelites wouldn’t have happened… Scratch that… GOD has it all ordained to happen HIS way and it’s a lesson for us to stop thinking that we are indispensable. If GOD knew Joseph would not have obeyed despite his beginning, HE would have called someone else. Thank GOD that our history, our present or future cannot be changed away from HIS will. HE will always align it. I digress…
Jacob benefitted from the truth of Joseph’s identity and his forgiveness over his brothers. He got to know that his most beloved son was alive, (I cannot begin to imagine his joy), and he got a chance for a better life as well. Also, Jacob’s joy wouldn’t have been complete if Joseph only allowed his father to go settle in Egypt, as he kept holding a grudge against his brothers. Joseph’s brothers’ families benefited as well. Our forgiving others not only gives us and them joy, but by extension, there are people who will definitely benefit, whether they took part in the betrayal or not. Forgiveness creates a beautiful chain. Holding back forgiveness also creates a chain of its own. Remember the parable of the unforgiving servant?
Finally to say…
Do everything in your power to reconcile. It doesn’t mean you are giving them another opportunity to mess you up, but you are simply doing as would please GOD. Remember, it’s not about fairness, but Godliness. Fairness looks and smells different to each one, but Godliness has only one standard, GOD.
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
Romans 12:18 NKJV
Unforgiveness is a distraction that keeps us from fulfilling the purpose that GOD has for us. It takes us away from the path that GOD has set us on to do HIS work efficiently. “Up to seventy times seven times should you forgive…” And that’s a lot of times! Don’t limit your forgiveness. Freely you have been given, freely you should give.
Prayer
LORD, help us forgive even the worst of betrayers and offenders. Help us to not allow hate and revenge consume our hearts. Help us to be focussed on the mission that you have sent us on without holding on to distractions. Help us remember that you are fighting our battles and that we are covered by you, and that we do not need to keep looking over our backs in our own defense. Help us trust YOU fully, and to always walk in obedience to YOUR Word; to the glory of YOUR Holy Name, through JESUS’ CHRIST our LORD, Saviour and Friend,
Amen.
More of GOD’s Grace, Love and Light,
Lydia Ndwiga.
