MINISTRY… EASY JOY, HARD RESPONSIBILITY

“When you follow ME as MY Disciple, you must put aside your Father, your Mother, your Wife, your Sisters, your Brothers—yes, you will even seem as though you hate your own life. This is the price you’ll pay to be considered one of MY Followers. 
And anyone who comes to ME must be willing to share MY Cross and experience it as his own, or he cannot be considered to be MY Disciple.
So don’t follow ME without considering what it will cost you. For who would construct a house before first sitting down to estimate the cost to complete it? Otherwise he may lay the foundation and not be able to finish. The neighbors will ridicule him, saying, ‘Look at him! He started to build but couldn’t complete it!’
“Have you ever heard of a commander who goes out to war without first sitting down with strategic planning to determine the strength of his army to win the war against a stronger opponent? If he knows he doesn’t stand a chance of winning the war, the wise commander will send out delegates to ask for the terms of peace. Likewise, unless you surrender all to ME, giving up all you possess, you cannot be one of MY Disciples.
Luke 14:26‭-‬33 TPT

I was running away from a responsibility I knew just how crazy it can get.
I had seen my Dad going through it and the agility and strength he went on with it.
Living a life during the Week that would have to resemble his Preaching on Sunday.
It was easy to see how much he enjoyed it, but I had to get into his shoes to understand that Ministry is not in the genes… It’s a GOD-Calling.
It’s not a “pass-me-down-improved-version-for-the-next-of-kin.”
Dad did it with so much Joy and I wanted to grow up, preach and lead like he did. I did not know what I was asking for.
What makes me happy is that GOD saw me worth it to handle HIS business.
HE saw me enough to carry a responsibility forward and deliver what HE would ask of me.
Yes, there are days I said no to it. There are days I have ignored messages, but one thing I have seen real over me, is that HE never took it away from me.
It’s the excitement of seeing my FATHER believe in me but yet a cringe and shudder once I think of the cost.

If there’s a time I have learnt to fully take up what HE has called me to do is during this peculiar season of lockdown and job losses and unpredictable futures.
It is when I had declared no time that HE brought it my way.
I have felt the responsibility of Ministry deeper during this time.
It’s a Joy to be a part, but also a huge responsibility, that starts with how I live my life in the private and going out to how I live it in the Public.
It’s about a Ministry that should start on my Husband, flowing out to my Family and then to you.
It’s about the silent moments and thoughts with GOD to the loud words uttered and typed to the Public.
It’s every inch of my character and attitude.
It’s how I think about others to how I openly serve them.
Sometimes I doubt my very actions and sometimes I feel like I am too good to be true.
Most times I want to bail out and sometimes I want to stay in when I see the impact, as small as it may be.
My prayer is that GOD keeps reminding me of the Joy it comes with, so that I may be able to navigate through the hardships that come with the responsibility.
To remember that all this is not in vain, and there is a Glory that awaits.

This Season has come with me having to learn lots of how technology works, without a choice really.
I have had to learn that a Domain Name is not a Website.
That a Domain Name can exist without a Website.
I have had to learn about Hosting Companies and the in-betweens Greek terminologies that will lead me to having an actual site in my Domain Name.
I have had to call in favours for services that I couldn’t afford.
I have had to be on phone finding out how to transfer a Domain Name from one host to another. 
I have had to listen to someone explain to me things I didn’t understand.
I have had sleepless nights trying to understand how to work around the very technology that hosts the Ministry.
As I type, I am not too sure that you will be able to find the other Blogs in here today or whatever other day or I will have to send you to another site to see them.
I would have easily let go and said that I don’t know how to handle, I will start when I learn.
But I never gave up on my Degree. I conquered every obstacle to graduate.
I didn’t give up on finding a job. I learnt how to play instruments to get it.
I didn’t give up saving up for my most priced gadgets.
Why give up on Ministry then?
I had to get myself to the point where I said, “I will only stop when it is beyond me.”
Are there times that come that are beyond me? Numerously yes!!
But GOD brought my way people and wisdom and it was no longer beyond me.
HIS HOLY SPIRIT, such a Great Teacher. This Season taught me that The HOLY SPIRIT knows it all, even technology. I have no excuse for not learning what I need to keep the Ministry visible to you.

On another note, I had to come to the point of understanding that this Ministry is not mine.
Even after all the struggle, in this field, I am only a steward in it.
I have to consult its OWNER to make any changes.
I have to consult who I need to involve to help to make it move forward.
I have to ask for permission before I can take a break. And taking that break does not mean that HIS Ministry will also take a break. I am simply not indispensable. There are very many other stewards in it.
I have to allow it when the OWNER wants to take it to a different direction, without question.
I only tend to it.
It’s not mine.
It is GOD’s.

I remember in 2018 when the videos I had shot disappeared from me, I was devastated.
All the money I had spent, all the time and energy down the drain.
I was mad, I was angry, I was giving up and I was asking GOD, how could HE?
How could HE allow someone take away the only means of Ministry I knew?
It was only this year that I came to understand that HE was pointing me to a different direction in this HIS Ministry.
I could hear HIM ask me… “Who told you that what you lost was yours?”
A relief that I didn’t lose anything but startled at the fact that I thought it was mine because of the effort and emotion I had spent on it.
HE opened my eyes to what true Ministry is.
It’s about obedience to HIS calling.
It’s about true stewardship.
It’s about HIM being known to the ends of the Earth and not for my fame.
It’s about me seeking HIM first and HIS Kingdom, knowing that what will be added to me is not necessarily what I ask for and want.
It’s about surrender of my whole being to HIS Purpose.
It’s about HIM being seen more in me every day as I decrease and disappear, and eventually having HIS print all over what I do.
It’s about the Music and Literature I put out here having HIS stamp on them.
That is what I should be chasing and not an increase of my followers, nor an influx of likes, neither an opportunity to solely grow my brand.
If these come after HIM, then it’s my “All these things…” Hallelujah! If they don’t, it’s Hallelujah! still.
It’s about HIM first, before anything comes.
Anything that came to me before finding HIM is surely useless to me now.

Whatever HE has placed in me is HIS.
HE gives and HE takes away.
And when I leave this Earth, the followers I will have accumulated on my Socials will not be of benefit to anyone.
In fact, they will stop getting mesmerized by how lit my Socials look like.
The showbiz shockers I will have pulled off will be of no use to anyone when I am gone.
The number of cars and houses I will accumulate will be in someone else’s name.
But the souls I will have helped lead to CHRIST will be rejoicing.
The people I will have introduced to CHRIST will have escaped Eternal Damnation.
The young person that saw my zeal for CHRIST will want more for their Christian Lives.
The number of things that I have put out here will be left to find someone to turn back to CHRIST.
A seed will have been planted whenever I speak out the Word of GOD.
That even when all that I have sang and written is deleted off the Internet, a soul or two or many will have been changed for the better.
Perhaps it may be deleted because its time will be up.
Perhaps the videos, if released back then in 2018, would not have had any impact as much as they will have now.
Perhaps it wasn’t time yet.
Perhaps The OWNER of this Ministry knew well some things I was hoping for would have destroyed me.

I have learnt to never instruct GOD about how this should go.
I am in no place to give HIM ideas.
“I think this should go this way… No, YOU are wrong on that… I think this platform will work best…” Hahaha!!
I have learnt to take instructions instead.
I have learnt to ask for directions and follow it to the last word when given.
I have learnt to not adulterate the instructions with my own sugar, spice and everything mine.
I have learnt to never cross the thin line of wanting followers for my own satisfaction and instead want more followers so that more can hear the Gospel.
And if they don’t add in numbers, the souls that need the specific word will be in the few numbers.
Do I want growth? Yes!
Do I want to put myself out here so that I can land more jobs and interviews and be seen?
Definitely yes!!
But let these things come to me when I am serving GOD.
It is in using my GOD Given Talents that I will be fed.
It is my talents that will bring me to Great Men.
It is through my talents that I will serve GOD.
I will do all I can to be diligent to the last word.

Dear Minister that associates yourself with CHRIST…
This Ministry is not for your gain.
It’s not for your fame.
It’s not for your alternation or alteration.
It’s not for your manipulation.
But one thing I can tell you, a glass emptied is never left dry.
If whatever you put out there leaves you empty and dry, then it wasn’t from GOD to begin with.
Stop playing around in the Name of GOD.
Stop rising in the Name of CHRIST for your own benefit.
Stop associating your name with the Name of CHRIST if you won’t identify with the Power that comes with HIS Name.
If only we understood why GOD commands us to not call HIS Name in vain.
HE is a FATHER full of compassion, slow to anger and not wanting anyone of us to perish.
But let us not forget that HE is a jealous GOD that can unleash a wrath that none can fathom.
I will never be able to be HIS advocate for sure, but when HE stands up for HIS Name, it will be loud.
When HE stands up for the number of HIS Children we have led astray, we shall understand how much HE treasures them.

What have you done with the field HE left you in charge of?
Is your responsibility coming from a place of the Joy that comes with a found soul or the responsibility to yourself?
A responsibility to yourself is easy, we all love results and we enjoy them.
But being a steward, taking care of someone else’s property is hard, especially when you have no space to do “Your Thing.”

If the only reward I get from all this is to live an Eternal Life with GOD and bring a few or many with me, then I will keep going at it.
If it doesn’t come with what everyone else is enjoying right now as I obey GOD for HIS Work, it still works for me.
If I will not end up on the billboards and with earthly awards, I will take it, for as long as GOD is pleased.
It’s the easiness of Joy that it comes with however hard the responsibility is.
Because everything that comes from GOD is good.
Everything that comes from GOD comes with a huge responsibility.
Responsibility for what is GOD’s is not easy, but HE is faithful to take us through it if we only surrender to HIM fully.

JESUS said to all of HIS Followers, “If you truly desire to be MY Disciple, you must disown your life completely, embrace MY ‘cross’ as your own, and surrender to MY ways.  For if you choose self-sacrifice, giving up your lives for MY Glory, you will embark on a discovery of more and more of true life. But if you choose to keep your lives for yourselves, you will lose what you try to keep.  Even if you gained all the wealth and power of this world, everything it could offer you, yet lost your soul in the process, what good is that?”
Luke 9:23‭-‬25 TPT

Still wondering why so many have left the faith when it didn’t work out for their own good?
I am not any better.
I have fallen countless times.
I am just a mere mortal, still learning to obey GOD.
I am just here to tell you what I have been privileged to learn.

It’s a tough journey, a tough responsibility I know, but comes with the greatest Joy.
And if you are ready to surrender your life to CHRIST, if you desire to know HIM deeper, if you’re ready for this life that is the greatest satisfaction you will ever experience, reach out to me.
I will walk with you.

More of GOD’s Grace, Love and Light.
Lydia Ndwiga.